Escape it all
by JustAGirlIGuess
Summary: Everything's fine for Elliot and Liv until one day at work, then there's still drama to face. Can they handle it? Chapters switch from Elliots to Livs point of view. Storys much better then the summary, I promise. Tittle change! Used to be Saving Her.
1. Still Beautiful

"Olivia! No!" I yelled out to my partner who lay unmoving on the floor. I turned back to the officer who fried the shot, "You idiot! That's my partner." I started to run towards her.

"Those were my orders, he had a officer and if you weren't going to shoot him I had to." He said defending himself. I glared back at him. I reached her still body, she layed next to the criminal we had been trying to catch for a week. He abducted 2 little girls after shooting their parents. The father died.

Our criminal, Serge lay on the floor unmoving and I knew he was dead. It looked like it hit him in the chest. And the impact of flying back into a mirror didn't help either. I kneeled next to my partner and imeadetly checked for a pulse, and she slowly turned her head over.

"El, I… Im okay. Ow maybe not." She reached for her back of her head.

"No, don't touch it. Do you know what happened?" I asked in a gentle voice.

"No, but when is the ambulance coming? My head hurts like hell." She asked, I helped her sit up.

"We followed Serge here," I said pointing to the body next to her. "And he came up from behind and grabbed you, he held a gun to your head ." I said my voice shaking , the memory of it all creeping through my head.

"Did you shoot him?"

"No, some other officer did. You two flew back into the mirror."

"Where are we? And remind me again who this Serge is." She pointed to the still man next to her.

"He's the man who abducted those twin girls, shot the mom and dad and the dad died. He ditched the girls in the street and came running in here. It's a dance studio, that's how you fell into the mirror." I slowly pulled her away from him and the glass.

"Oh, Ow my head still hurts. Did I cut it?" She asked in total pain.

"No you just hit it. But some glass shards cut your face," I said in a soft tone then changed it to shout back to the officer up front. "Where's that ambulance? My partner's hurt!"

"They're coming! They got stuck in traffic. Your captain's on his way too!" He shouted back.

"Traffic? Tell them there's a officer down and they better get their asses over here fast!"

"They were stuck behind a car accident." His radio buzzed, he spoke back into it and yelled back, "they're almost here! Not even 5 minutes!"

"Ooh!" groaned, "My head! And ooh my arm is hurting now!" I helped her sit up a little more

and held her close to me.

"Shhh I know sweetheart, I think you landed on it." I said using a soft tone.

"My face is starting to sting too."

"Im sorry, I told him not to fire but.." My voice trailed off.

"It's not your fault. Did we get the girls? Are they okay?" Here she is lying on the floor after being taken hostage and threw back into a mirror and she's asking about the little girls. But that's what makes her be one of the best on the squad. She puts a lot of effort into helping victims.

"They're fine, we got them and I believe they're back with their mom."

"Okay good." She gave a small smile then winced in pain.

"What is it?" I asked my voice filled with concern.

"I have this major headache. Are you sure my head didn't hit the mirror?"

"Im sure, he had the back of your shirt, when he got shot you two flew back his arm blocked your head and then you fell and hit it on the floor."

"But how hard did we fly back? How did the mirror break?" Olivia asked.

"His head hit the mirror pretty hard. He was jumping back to dodge the bullet. And well he's a big man so that's probably how the rest broke." I said, holding my partner even closer as I could tell she was now just starting the feel the pain.

"The ambulance is here!" The officer shouted and soon men with a stretcher came running through followed by our captain. I helped lift my partner on to the stretcher.

"Im riding with!" I called to my captain.

"Elliot we need you to stay here. Just for a little bit." He called back. I let go of my partner's hand (which I had imeadetly grabbed) and stood to face him.

"This is my partner, and she's hurt. Im going." I angrily said.

"Just listen. Im fine." She called from the stretcher. I sighed and walked up to her.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. I swear Liv." I lightly kissed her forehead, avoiding the cuts.

"I know you will El." She was whisked away on the stretcher. I rubbed my eyes and walked back to my captain.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Oh just dandy! And yourself?" I answered with bitter sarcasm.

"Elliot.." He warned and I could tell he was in a mood.

"Fine, no I am not okay, not at all," I spat, my voice rising. "My partner, the only person I have left, had a gun pressed against her head. I thought she got shot. She didn't but she still got hurt. And to top it off, she's alone in some hospital. She has no one there for here." I threw my hands in the air. Cragen sighed.

"Go."

"What?"

"Go , you're right. She's there alone, scared and hurt. Go."

"Thanks. I promise I'll call." I started to leave.

"You better!" He yelled out to me. I dashed to the hospital.

Walking in my phone buzzed in my pocket, I looked at caller ID. It was my daughter.

"Dad, where are you? You were supposed to be here!" Maureen yelled. I sighed, pacing in front on the front desk.

"Maureen, the last thing I need right now is your attitude. I know your upset because I was supposed to take you and the twins out for dinner but-" She cut me off.

"But what? You're stupid job got in the way again? Or is it your partner? God I swear you care more about your job and partner then your own family! No wonder mom left you!" She screamed into the phone.

"Maureen, stop yelling. Listen to me, -" But she interrupted me again.

"I knew it! You were too busy with her huh? Working on some case right? Like you told mom when you would come home late. You were out with HER instead of US! Grandma even thinks you were cheating on mom with her! That's part of why mom left you, she got tiered of being number two! I bet you guys were together!" She screamed, her words running through my mind with anger. Kathy must have been telling the kids stories, again.

"She's in the hospital." I said coldly, my voice stinging. I hung up my phone and put it on silent knowing she would call back.

When I got to Olivia's room she was lying there, eye's closed. But her eye's fluttered open when I opened the door and sat down.

"I didn't wake you did I?"

"No, I just had them closed. So you finished with Cragen?"

"Not exactly, he let me go."

"I didn't get you in trouble did I?"

"No, you didn't do anything."

"Isn't this your night to meet with your kids?" She changed the subject.

"I talked to Maureen, we're not going tonight."

"Because of me. Elliot, they're your kids just go Ill be fine."

"No, I don't want to leave you here alone and after what she said I cant see her tonight. So what's wrong?" I asked changing the subject.

" No concussion. I obviously cut my face. Also I have a bump on my head, sore arm and my right side covered in bruises. But, I get to go home In a little while, thank god." I had to smile a little bit, she's laying her in a hospital complaining about being in a hospital but not her injuries.

"I'll take you."

She smiled, "okay thanks." We sat and talked until it was time to go.


	2. It was perfect

**I do not own anything here, (Dick Wolf does..lucky...) but if I did...there would be no Kathy and every episode would have a Stabler/Benson makeout scene ;) Please review!**

I knew something was wrong by his facial expression when he walked in the door. But after working with him for 8 years I know not to ask, at least right now. Before he walked in I had been reliving earlier in my mind. Not the bad stuff though, just one thing. When he kissed my forehead. It only lasted about a second and it wasn't some bit thing, but it kept flashing thorough my head.

This was the first time in 8 years his lips ever touched me. Most likely because he was married. I'd always had a small crush on him. Which grew when he casually said he was getting a divorce. Is that bad? I mean now I didn't feel so wrong for liking a married man. But, is it even worse to be a little a happy that he's getting a divorce?

We talked for a little bit, then they finally released me. While I got dressed, I heard him on the phone talking to the captain.

"She's okay., no concussion. Bump on the head, cut on the face, sore arm and some bruising. Doctor said she doesn't need to stay home for more then a couple days." The captain must have been talking because Elliot spoke a minute later again.

"Ok, I'll try to convince her, you know she's stubborn. And me? " More silence from him, "Okay I guess I'll have her call you, Im gona take her home. Bye" He hung up the phone.

When I came out he smiled a little and led the way to his car. I sat down in the front seat, he started the car and sighed.

"What's wrong?" I asked looking over at him, slightly wincing from my headache which was starting to come back.

"Well, Im supposed to convince you to take a couple days, more like the rest of the week."

"The rest of the week?"

"Well it's Wednesday so that's only 3 days."

"No way. 3 days, that's too long. There's nothing wrong with me" My stubbornness kicked in, I was fine except for a couple burses and a bump on the head.

"Two."

"One" I protested. He sighed. stopped at the red light and looked over at me. The light turned green before he could speak. So I did.

"What am I even supposed to do at home? You know I have no life outside of work." I complained while he chuckled.

"Well I don't know, knit?" He said, attempting to sound serious.

"My grandma didn't even knit!" I sighed

"It was a joke Liv." He shot me a look.

"Ha." I said sarcastically. He sighed once more.

"He also thinks I should take a day."

"You?" I said surprised.

" I think its for ditching him. He didn't want to deal with me so he said I was right, you where alone and then sent me away." He turned onto my street.

"Then you really didn't ditch him."

"But still, you know him. He's a good guy, but he hates me when I get…sassy." We both looked at each other and laughed a little. Yes its true, Detective Stabler could get rather sassy at times, but after 9 years you tend to get use to it except for the occasional remark that made you want to slap him.

"If you take tomorrow off, I'll take two days." I finally decided

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I looked over at him. "I am." He pulled in front of my apartment.

"I guess I'll call you later tonight." We looked each other in the eye.

"I'll be waiting." I smiled.

"Let me walk you in." He said suddenly.

"It's okay." I said, unbuckling my seat belt.

"It's New York Liv, you never know." He said shrugging his shoulders. I laughed.

"You just don't want me to leave."

"I thought you got shot today, that was horrible." Pain suddenly filled his voice and I looked over.

"Im sorry."

"Don't be, its not your fault."

"Im still sorry." I told him, my voice sounding sorry as well.

And I was, his face was terrified when he ran over to me. I could tell he was trying to be brave for me when I showed any pain but I could see how it hurt him as well to see me in pain. I saw his face when the Captain told him he wanted him to stay behind. I noticed his protective instinct over me kick in when Serge grabbed me. I heard his voice to the officer who he thought possibly shot me.

And that's why I loved him, he would (and sometimes had) put everything on the line for me. Knowing he had my back gave me this safe feeling, no criminal could penetrate (That had been tested numerous times in the past). I had been stalked and targeted before by angry suspects, some old some new. But I knew my partner would try everything to keep me safe. One time he spent the night in his car, watching my apartment.

"Thanks. I just don't know, something snapped. I mean I've thought you got shot before but this time…" His voice trailed off.

"I know how you felt, its not highly pleasant to think your partner has got shot." I said looking at him, "Especially when they're the only you have." I mumbled quietly mostly to myself but, I knew he heard.

"That's why." His voice was barely louder than mine.

"What?" I asked

"This is the first time you've been the only one I have. Thinking you, the only person I have left since I got divorced and my kids are gone, got shot…" He paused, "made something snap."

"Oh." I paused for a moment too, "It's living hell huh? Thinking the only person you have…was shot."

"Im sorry." He said, not answering my question although I knew his answer.

"For what?"

"Every time you thought I got shot. You felt that, pain inside you. Because as you commonly tell me, Im your only one."

I didn't say anything, what could I say? He was apologizing for something he had no control over. But he was right, I had no one. When you're the product of your mother's rape and she's a alcoholic, it doesn't create such a good mother/daughter relationship. The fact the she's dead didn't help either. And neither did having no family or a boyfriend. I either scared away guys with the whole "Imma cop" thing, or freaked them out and sometimes brought out the pervert in them with the fact that I work in Special Victims. You know, sex crimes. It could either be a major turn-off considering what I saw and dealt with everyday or a turn-on for the perv bastards I ended up with sometimes.

"I guess I should go in now." I finally said, breaking the silence.

" Are you sure you don't want me to walk you up?"

"Actually, I would like you to. I can tell how much you don't want to leave me and, I don't want to leave you either." I looked over to him, and our eyes met. He leaned towards my face ,his fingers met mine and they gently entwined. His other hand rested on my shoulder as we faced each other, our faces now inches apart.

"I would be pleased Miss. Benson."

"Thank you Mr. Stabler." We both smiled as out mouths seemed to slowly pull themselves together. Our lips finally met and as doing to his arms wrapped around me and mine around him. After about 30 seconds we pulled apart and pressed our foreheads together, both of us smiling. He softly kissed my cheek before moving back to my lips for another glorious 30 seconds. When that was over we somehow managed to finally end our embrace and walk to my apartment. The entire time out fingers lightly holding each others.

When we got to my door I turned to face him

"Do you want water or something? I asked.

"As much as I would love to say yes, I know the captain's already pissed for me not calling as soon as I knew what happened and he wants me back as soon as possible. But since were both taking a day tomorrow, how about then?"

"Fine, but I was wondering something."

"What?"

"Well my bag and sweater are at my desk since I planned on returning. Do you think you could bring them by tomorrow?"

"Sure," He replied. He then put his arms around me, pulled me close and kissed me like it was the most causal thing ever. I kissed back, which was filled with surprise at his action but happiness as well. After that, I stood there a little surprised.

"Did I.. was that…" He couldn't think of what to say.

"It," I started. "Was perfect." I smiled

_What do you guys think? Review PLEASE! ill love you forever ;) This is my first story so I would highly like kind words. 3*forever (ONLY if you review)_

_-JustAGirlIGuess :p :) ;)_


	3. Have Fun

**Chapter 4 tomorrow for 2 reasons. 1)i need to sleep (its 3:44 in the morning) 2)i gotta peeeeee! i know, i know, like you really needed to know that but anyhoodledoodle. I own nothing, its all Dick Wolf. If I only could get him to adopt me... ;) Stabler and Benson would be mine...;)**

I let go of her and my body stayed tense. I was so sure I screwed up by her facial expression.

"Did I…was that…" I didn't know how to ask if that was okay.

"It," She paused. "Was perfect."

I sighed, "I thought I screwed up." She laughed.

"Why?"

"Well because of, your face."

"You shocked me." She chuckled a little.

"I could tell." I said shooting her a wicked grin. She smiled but then her voice changed to something a little more serious as did our conversation.

"I know you have to go and everything but," I could tell she was unsure if she should finish her sentence.

"But what?"

"But, how does everything that just happened impact…our relationship as friends and partners?" She asked suddenly. I sighed, I hadn't thought about this when I kissed her in my car. All I was thinking about was how beautiful she looked , how I could've lost her and thought that had been on my mind for weeks now. My feelings for her. Obviously she hadn't thought about it either.

"Honestly, I wasn't thinking about that when I kissed you."

"Same here."

"I guess that…" I said without finishing my sentence, what was I supposed to say?

"Maybe we should discuss this tomorrow, when you come back for your water." We laughed and I hugged her.

"No matter how we end up, I don't want to loose you." I whispered in her ear. "You're a great person, the best partner I've ever had and my best friend."

" I don't want to loose you either. You're the only one I have." We pulled apart, and as much as I didn't want to, left.

I walked to my car and pulled out my phone. 16 missed calls from Maureen and 4 from their house. Their being Maureen, my other children, Kathleen, Dickey ,Lizze and their mom, my ex-wife Kathy. The calls were probably Kathy wanting to yell at me for not answering Maureen. The latest call was about 8 minutes ago, when Liv and I were kissing. I decided to call back. Kathy answered on the second ring.

"Hi."

"Hey…can I talk to Maureen?" I asked, not really in the mood for a conversation with Kathy.

"She's clearing the table, I guess I'll have her call you back." Even thought Maureen and Kathleen were older now, they were staying at home to help around a little bit.

"Oh well okay then. Bye"

"Elliot, wait." She sounded tiered.

"What?"

"The kids…miss you. I…" She started to talk but I cut her off

"No, Kathy don't say that you miss me too."

"But.."

"But don't pull this crap with me! You're the one who say's I killed the marriage yet you miss me? It was your idea to get a divorce then you want me back? No, Kathy no." I yelled out. I know I sounded like a ass and maybe I was but that's the thing with her. That's what she does and every time it makes me feel used.

"You don't miss me." Her voice sounded upset.

"Why do you say that?"

"You don't do you?"

"I did, then I realized you weren't coming back. Honestly…" I stopped, she was crying.

"Im sorry, please…come home."

"No, because I already know this is just going to keep happening. Its…" I couldn't finish my sentence, she knew what was coming. I hung up and sighed. She always does this, she thinks she can have it both ways. I opened the car door and got in.

I finally got back to the Precinct where the captain was waiting for me.

"Hey, sorry it took so long." I told him.

"It's fine, did you convince her to take a couple days?"

"She finally agreed on two, on one condition."

"What?" He sighed, knowing how stubborn she could be.

"Im taking tomorrow off too.""Why you?"

"Earlier you said…" I started only to have him cut me off.

"Earlier, you had a attitude which I wasn't in the mood for."

"I have enough vacation, so Im taking tomorrow off." I walked to my desk as he sighed, "What do you need.?" He sat down across from me at Livy's desk.

"What happened earlier?"

So I told him how we followed Serge to the studio after he dumped the girls in the street, he took Olivia hostage, got shot, they flew back into the mirror, he passed out and I sat with my partner until he showed up.

"Fill out a report, leave it on my desk and I guess I'll see you on Tuesday." He said starting to walk to the elevator, looking back at me the entire time.

I grabbed 's Olivia's stuff and he raised his eyebrows a little bit.

"I promised her I'd bring them by to her tomorrow," I checked the time, it was only 7:13. I could just take them now. "Or maybe now since it's only a little past 7."

"After you fill out the report." He reminded me. I sighed.

"Of course, night Captain."

"Goodnight Elliot." He got into the elevator and it closed, sending him down. I sat down, grabbed a pen and started my report. Moments later, Munch and Fin entered through the elevator.

"We heard what happened, Liv okay?" Fin asked

"Yeah, some bruising, couple cuts on her face and a bump on her head." I said looking up from the report.

"Is she coming back tomorrow?" Munch asked sounding a little eager to know.

"Nope, she's taking off two days."

"Damnit!" Fin cursed while Munch just grinned.

"Victory! I believe you owe me fifty dollars my friend." Munch said to Fin. It took me a minute to catch on.

"Wait, you guys made a bet over how long she would be gone?"

"We knew Cragen wanted her to take 3 days but we know she's too stubborn for that. My partner figured she'd talk her way into only one but I knew you would convince her to take two. So we made a bet." Munch shrugged and walked towards the coffee maker.

" Now I owe his bony ass fifty bucks." Fin complained while jerking his thumb towards his partner. I had to laugh a little.

"Do you ever win any of these bets?" I asked Fin.

"Nope, but being the intelligent person he is, he keeps betting me. Which is completely fine with me, I keep getting something out of it." Munch answered for his partner who glared at him. I laughed a little again.

"I wonder what she'll think about this little bet."

"She'll be happy to know how much concern her colleagues have for her well being." Munch replied.

Although it didn't seem like it, I know they care. She's Olivia! She's the daughter Cragen never had, the little sister neither Munch or Fin had, the peacemaker when there's tension and she's my partner, best friend, babysitter when im in 'a sassy mood', the person who keeps me grounded, the only one I have. Basically, my everything. So I know they cared, because we all do. There's not a soul who walks into the Precinct hating Liv except perprs and the occasional victim who thinks she's just a annoying as hell woman who wont let something go. But they're wrong, she just cares.

Fin pointed to my phone which had been sitting on my desk "El, your phone wont stop lightin up. I think you got a call."

I sighed as I grabbed my phone and turned it off, it was exactly who I expected. "God damn Kathy again. She wont stop calling me ever since earlier."

"What happened earlier?" Fin asked.

"Oh Elliot please come home! I miss you!" I mimicked her voice, "it's the same shit she always pulls with me. This time I'm not stupid though." I finally finished the report. Both men sighed. I went to Cragen's office to drop off the report.

"Women…" Fin snorted and Munch nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I gotta go drop off Liv's bag and coat." I checked the time to make sure it wasn't too late. Nope. I noticed both men's eye each other and eyebrows raise but said nothing.

"How'd you get Little Miss. Stubborn to take two days?" Fin asked taking a drink of the coffee Munch brought him earlier.

" I took tomorrow off too." I grabbed her stuff and mine and walked towards the elevator.

"I take it you two will be spending it together?" Munch questioned as I pushed the down button.

"Does it concern you?"

"I'll take that as yes, have fun you two." He teased.

"You too gentlemen." I called back as the elevator opened and I stepped inside.

"You know they will, it's not like they already don't." Fin told Munch but loud enough for me to hear. I sighed and the doors closed.

_If you dont review, I hope you fall in a hole. jk cause then you really cant review. _

_-JustAGirlIGuess 3 :$ (idk whats up with his mouth.)_


	4. Distracting Stabler

**Ill try to get chapters 5 and 6 up today, and attempt to try to write a chapter 7. But Im going to my awesome cousins house tonight :) and Im spending the 4th of July there so I'll be busy tomorrow. Anywhooo, here you go and of course I own NOTHING! :'(**

I had fallen asleep on the couch when I heard a knock on my door.

"Who is it? I asked sitting up and yawning.

"Elliot!" He called. I walked to my door and let him in.

"Hey, what's up?" I yawned, "Come in."

He walked in and closed the door, "I didn't wake you did I?" He asked.

"I just fell asleep on the couch. Its okay. Thanks for bringing my stuff though" I told him as he handed me my bag and coat.

"Welcome," He looked me up and down. "You look comfy." We both smiled.

"I am." And I was in my sweats and t-shirt. He smiled and we sat on my couch.

"How are you?" He asked looking me in the eyes so I couldn't lie.

"Fine, my headache went away and nothing else really hurts."

"I guess that's good." He said and our eyes turned away from each other. This was a little awkward considering earlier but still it felt nice to have him here.

"I've been thinking." I blurted, breaking the silence.

"About what?"

"What I said earlier."

"Oh, I haven't had time to really. I was starting to think about it while filling out the report but then Munch and Fin walked in. They made a bet. Over you." He smiled so I knew it couldn't be that bad.

"Oh dear god…"

"They knew that not even I could convince you to take 3 days so they bet if you would take one or two. Loser owes winner 50 dollars." We both looked up at each other and gave a little smile.

"Let me guess, Munch won."

"Yup, he knew that as stubborn as you where-"

"Me? Stubborn? How dare he!" I cut off Eliot, mocking anger. We both laughed.

"That's what I thought! What was he thinking, calling you stubborn?" He teased me and I playfully pushed him.

"Ass kisser, I heard you earlier on the phone with Cragen."

"What about that?"

"Oh like you forgot, 'you know she's stubborn'. You talk kinda loud you know." I looked at him and grinned and he grinned back making my grin even bigger. It's the one I only see him use on me, the half goofy one that makes me melt inside.

"And you're kinda stubborn you know."

I laughed, "I know I know. I admit it, Im stubborn." We laughed and I noticed how he moved a little closer to me.

"I got you distracted," He started. "Earlier you said you had been thinking about what you told me"

"Oh yeah, well I have been. I think, well I know that based on earlier there has to be…feelings there. From both of us obviously. I don't know about you but those feelings from me have been there for quiet a while. But I don't think we should act on these feelings so fast. I mean we don't have to keep it on the just friends side, we already know how the other feels. But we shouldn't move so fast." I said, the entire time trying not to look at him because I knew I sounded like a idiot. I finally got the courage to look at him. He smiled and our hands found each other.

"I think, that sounds like a really good idea. I don't want to loose everything we have for something that might not even work." He said and pulled me in close for a hug.

"Oh, good. Well I think right now Im not exactly ready to go back to sleep, but I am ready to maybe watch a movie. Does that sound good?" I asked and he smiled pulling me even closer in.

"Perfect."

Within a hour I was in his arms, my head on his chest, a blanket on top of us even though it was Spring and I had just woken up. As soon as we picked a movie and got settled, within 5 minutes we were both asleep. I moved a little to get more comfortable and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew, it was morning.

"Good morning." He told me when I woke up. I turned to face him.

"How long have you been up?"

"Not too long. I wasn't bored however."

"Oh really? How'd you entertain yourself?"

"This." He shot me a wicked grin and held up my phone.

"You went through my phone?" I asked, voice full of shock. I paused to give him a chance to say anything but he kept smiling, "Stabler! God damn you! I have private conversations on there and you-" I was sitting up getting ready to smack him but he pulled me close and kissed me. I only kissed back because, well it's not a offer one tends to refuse. Afterwards our faces stayed close together, that grin still all over his face.

"Kidding Liv, would I do something like that?" He said his voice barely above a whisper.

"I can never know with you." I smiled.

"But seeing you get all defensive does make me wonder quiet what's on this precious phone of yours."

"Oh nothing that concerns you," I told him getting up and walking towards the kitchen. After making sure I had my phone. He followed me.

"Now, we're not gossiping are we?"

"Elliot, would I do something like that?" I looked over at him, trying to make a innocent face.

"Well Im sure you and your BFF Novak don't always talk about work"

No he was right, we didn't. I finally got the courage to admit my feelings about Elliot to her and she wouldn't let it drop. Not at all. Of course I got her to admit there was this one guy she liked, a worker from the coffee shop she went to everyday. And sometimes we debated if she should go back to being a redhead or stay blond.

I shrugged my shoulders, "the topic of hair has come up before." He chuckled and held me from behind, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"Im sure there's more." I didn't answer just turned my head and kissed him, gently at first but soon my mouth opened up and passion kicked in. I moved my body in front of his and his arms wrapped around my back. When he finally pulled back he raised a eyebrow.

"Trying to distract me Benson?"

"It's not working?"

"No, it is." He said and once again, his lips returned to mine.

_I love when people review (even though I only have like one now..but to the person who did review thanks!) So pleaseeeee reviewwwwwwwww!_

_-JustAGirlIGuess :) _


	5. 3:16 in the Morning

**Okay so heres 5! It starts getting epic in the next chapter! Anywayyyyy, all these lovely characters belong to Dick Wolf...not me :'(**

**2 MONTHS LATER**

"El! Come on!" Olivia called as she ran towards the ocean, her beautiful body full of energy. I came running after. We stood where the sand was wet and sticking to our legs and the water would rise and hit a little below our knees. She was in my arms and her head rested on my chest. I tilted her head up and moved my lips towards hers. She smiled at what was coming.

_Rinngg! Rinngg! Rinnnggg! Rinngg!_

I sat up and glared at my phone. It was 3:16 in the morning and I was quiet content with dreaming. I sighed and rolled over, careful not to disturb Olivia who had curled up next to my chest. She stirred a little but then settled back into a peaceful sleep. I grabbed my phone and hoped it didn't wake up Liv.

"Stabler." I mumbled into it.

"It's Cragen. We got a domestic dispute in progress with a woman who claims to be raped. Officers are still trying to get inside, her boyfriends looked the doors and has a gun to the woman's head. Right now out best shot is to sneak into the basement and go up from behind." He paused for a minute to let another officer inform him, "Okay turns out we are going with the basement plan and we have been for at least 15 minutes." He stopped for a minute and I listened in.

"Were…those just gun shots and a woman's scream?" I asked concern starting to fill my voice, he didn't answer though, I could here someone else talking to him. Liv turned and looked at me.

"El, is that Cragen?"

"Yeah, domestic dispute in-" But I was cut off by my Captain's voice.

"Get Benson and haul ass down here now. The bastard shot the cop ands holding him hostage too. Him and the child which was just discovered inside." Cragen must of hung up because all I heard was dead silence. I turned towards Liv.

"Some bastard has his girlfriend whose claiming rape and a officer hostage, a gun to their heads."

"Why doesn't the officer-" I cut her off already know her question.

"He's got a child too." She imeadetly sat up and hopped out of my bed.

_"_Where's the change of clothes I brought?" She asked already slipping out of one of my shirts. She loved wearing them.

"By the door." I answered dragging myself out of bed. I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and dashed to the kitchen to attempt to have something to eat before we left. A few minutes later Liv came out of the bathroom looking a little surprised.

"You okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah Im fine." She said her attention on something else. I walked over and kissed her before we left and had to pretend we were just partners like we do everyday. She kissed back but I could tell there was definitely something else she was focused on. I didn't ask though.

We got to the crime scene and it was a mess. I jogged up to Cragen and noticed his face. It was stern, trying to stay brave but showed fear. That's how we all get though, anytime there's a child involved, it hits hard.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"We're going to have either you or Liv call in and try to talk. Our goal right now is to get the child out of there and the injured officer."

"How is he?" Liv asked, joining the conversation.

"Bullet hit his right arm, a little above the elbow." A man walked up to us and pointed to me and my partner.

"This Benson and Stabler?"

"Yes, Benson why don't you try talking to him." The captain gave my partner and small pat on the back and away with the officer she walked. I looked back to Cragen.

"Can I follow?"

He sighed before answering, "Go, they might need you anyway." I could tell he wasn't to pleased with what was happening. I caught up to my partner as she was holding a phone next to my ear, a second later I heard a mans voice answer.

"Leave me alone or I'll kill them all!" He yelled sounding a mix between pissed and insane.

"Come on lets just talk about this. What can we give you? What do you want?" Liv's voice tried to remain calm but I knew she wasn't since the guy just threatened to kill a officer, child and a possible rape victim.

"I already got what I want. She tried to leave and take the kid but a punch or two stopped this bitch from leaving. Although…" His voice was sick and I could tell he was enjoying this.

"What?" Olivia asked, sounding like she didn't want to hear his sick answer.

"Leave me the hell alone!" The phone line went dead and she turned back around to face the Captain.

"Now what?" She sighed. The man from earlier answered.

"We checked all the entries to find one where we have less chance of getting caught. Our best chance right now is to quietly sneak in through the back, distract the perp, attempt to get all hostages in a safe position without him hurting anyone and take him down from behind." He pointed at me and my partner, "You guys up for I?." We looked at each other and nodded.

"Lets do it."

Within 15 minutes, Liv, four other backup officers and I where quietly sneaking along the wall, guns out and ready. I had made sure I was in front of my partner and we were inching along. I peeked my head around the corner and saw our perp sitting on a couch eyeing the activity and his hostages either on the floor or next to him. A phone rang and he cursed but finally answered, screaming into the other side. That was our cue.

_Review please! I know what I have written above ^ is not 100% right of what would happen in this scenario, but bear with me due to the fact im not a crime export!_

_-JustAGirlIGuess 3_


	6. Telling Him

**Its..time...to...GET EPIC! lol and thats exactly what happens. Im sure I got a couple things wrong procedure wise with the whole hostage situation and everything, due to the fact Im not a police officer. Dick Wolf is the owner here...not me... :'(**

Elliot picked up his pace and so did I and the other officers. When we finally got as close as we needed I prayed that one of the hostages would turn around and see us. That way they would at least know help was here. And one did.

Officer Stevens happened to lay his head against the couch, look back and see us. I quickly put a mouth to my finger and gave his a signal to turn around. Once he did he lightly touched the woman on the arm and slightly jerked her head back, she turned to look and I gave her the same signal I gave Officer Stevens. She quickly turned her head back, slightly shaking as she pulled the little girl sitting next to her closer. On her other side was the perp, still screaming into the phone. One question rang in my mind though, now what?

We had been told to get in, unnoticed and then proceed from there. It was obvious every move from here on out, we would be held entirely responsible for. No saying "it was a order given" or "that was my command", and I sure as hell didn't like it. Of course this has happened before but not often. No, we couldn't predict what would always exactly happen but usually we had more backup, a game plan, and weren't faced with the situation of a perp with three hostages and one being a injured officer who's gun was in the perp's hand. We'd had bad situations but not in a long time.

My partner turned to face me and with a voice almost lower then a whisper said "now what? We don't know how much longer we can keep him on the phone."

"We need his gun." I turned to the officers behind me, "any ideas?" One spoke up, no louder than me or Elliot.

"I have one. Either you or Stabler goes up from behind and grabs the perp's gun or the perp himself. The rest can try to get the hostages to safety" The officer seemed nervous while he told his plan. I looked at my partner and he nodded, his eyes saying "what else is there?"

Stabler moved quickly but quietly as he advanced towards the perp with another officer behind. The other two had followed me as we moved towards the oposite side to attempt to get the woman and child. He was close, we were so close. So damn close.

"I see your shadows." A sick voice said, "so I guess this wasn't thought through so well." He sounded amused at the fact that he had caught us. Which he probably was,. He turned around to face all six of us with our guns out and pointing at him.

"Put down the gun, and this situation will go much smoother." I ordered, telling myself to remain calm.

"Oh look, the bitch from the phone earlier."

"Drop the gun." I commanded, my voice much more stern and tense. He grabbed Stevens' gun which had been laying on next to him and his gun. In one swift motion he positioned himself between the woman and little girl, a gun to both their heads.

"Why don't you put yours down?"

"Right now your going down for a lot, do you want to add anything else on to the list?" Elliot asked, "no, you don't. So just put down the gun and we can work through this in a better way." He answered himself, advancing a step closer.

"I'm not stupid. The second I put my gun down, Im down."

"If you're really smart, you'll realize pulling that trigger wont help you at all. That added prison time-" He cut me off, face red.

"Are you callin me stupid bitch?" He yelled, moving the gun from the little girls head and pointing it at me. I noticed Elliot tense up even more.

"Im not calling you anything." At least not out loud, I thought to myself.

"Shut up now! All of you!" He screamed, his hands flying through the air. The gun he had pointed at me fell to the floor. "Im the man here and I demand respect!" He shouted, his face darkening in his already red color. Oh, the asshole wants respect? Well this is a hell of a way to get.

"You think this makes you a man? This doesn't make you anything but a piece of crap, a coward." I spat out, I couldn't hold this in, this guy was pissing me off.

"You're a feisty bitch aren't you?" He laughed a little before pointing the other gun at me. He went around the couch and put the gun to my head, "now shut the hell up." He looked back to the hostages, Elliot and the other officers. "Move and I pull the trigger. He looked back at me, smug that he had me in this position. Not for long, I thought. In one quick moment I kneed him in the gut and knocked the gun out of his hands.

"Hands behind your back,."

"Wha-"

"Now!" I spat, "what's your name?"

"Greg Johnson." He mumbled out, stunned at his defeat.

"Greg Johnson, you are under arrest-"He cut me off again by jerking back as I was pulling out the handcuffs and pushing me to the floor. I tried to get up but he kicked me back and grabbed the gun, swinging it around.

"Get the hell way from her!" He pointed the gun at Elliot who had helped me sit up. My partner and I pulled out our guns and pointed them at him.

"Why don't we add resisting arrest to your list of crimes?" I asked, voice cold.

"Add this too." And right as he finished his sentence he pointed the gun and shot me in the right shoulder. On my way down to the ground, he fired again this time hitting above my elbow on my left arm. I felt my head hit the floor hard but I tried not to scream. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

I heard a chaos of things. Screaming, another gun shot that sounded like it came from Elliot, the thunk of Greg's body as it hit the floor, the other officers on their radio updating the people outside. But what I heard the loudest was Elliot's panicked, worried voice.

"Liv, baby its okay. Helps coming okay? Come on honey open your eyes. Talk to me Liv." He pleaded.

"El." I mumbled

"Its gona be okay Liv, looks helps here now. Okay sweetheart?"

"Mmm…" I remembered there had been a ambulance waiting outside in case anything happened. I felt Elliot help lift me on to the stretcher and my eyes shutting closed. But first I had to tell him something.

"Elliot?"

"What is it baby" His voice was gentle and soothing.

"Tell…tell the doctors."

"Tell them what Liv?" I could hear the worry rising in his voice.

"Im pregnant." There, I got it out and I could finally sleep.

_DUN DUN DUN! I know you're all (even though its only like 7 of you) going to hate me, but Im busyyyy today and dont have time to work on chapter seven. Also I know what I want to happen but I still have writers block so pleaseee dont hate me! Ideas would be GREATLY appreciated to help me with chapter seven. So either leave me a review or pm me. Thanks! A lotta love,_

_-JustAGirlIGuess _


	7. We'll make it

**It's here! I finally had time to write another chapter! I own nothing, everything belongs to lucky ducky Dick Wolf.**

The word ran through my mind, pregnant. Olivia Benson my partner, my best friend, my girlfriend was pregnant. Millions of questions ran through my mind. How long? When did she find out? How do we tell everybody? And one that I really needed to know, due to age and what just happened, could she have a miscarriage?

"Elliot!" Cragen called out, bringing me back in to reality, "are you riding with?"

"Huh? Oh yeah!" I ran to the ambulance and got in.

The entire time we rode to the hospital, there was a lot of buzz but I stayed focus on Liv. I concentrated on her breathing. I put my hand to her stomach, even though I knew there's no way I would feel the baby. I moved her hair behind her ears and held her hand. I felt helpless watching her, my Olivia, hurt. I wanted to take away all that pain.

When we got to the hospital, they rushed her in as I stood there, once more feeling helpless. Cragen arrived and caught up to me.

"You okay?"

Really? Did he honestly just ask that? But I didn't say my thoughts aloud. "No," I whispered. He sighed.

"Come on, lets go wait inside."

I had been so focused on Liv I didn't know what was really happening with her other then she was in surgery. Munch and Fin eventually showed up and Novak texted me, asking of she was okay. I never replied though. Just sat in that hard, uncomfortable chair thinking. Thinking about Olivia, her pregnancy, what had just happened and how much I really hated hospitals.

After what seemed like forever, a young doctor came out with her dirty blond hair hanging low in a ponytail. Her face was kind and she had papers gripped tight in her hand.

"Olivia Benson's family?" She spoke with a soft tone.

"Yes." I finally spoke since I answered Cragen's question earlier.

"Hello. Well Im her doctor, Doctor Shepard. Olivia is going to be alright. The bullet however did tear through her shoulder but we did as best as we can in surgery, which was pretty darn good. I understand she is a police officer, correct?"

"Yes doctor, she was hurt on the job." I said, my voice weak as images of earlier raced through my mind.

"Then she will need to take time off for sure. Anyway, I also understand she was pregnant. I did some tests to see how that's going. Since she got hurt and her age it's possible she had a miscarriage. Also she told me she got a cheap pregnancy test so it very well could be wrong. She has asked for a Elliot Stabler to come in the room while I give the results." She waved the papers around, waiting for one of us to follow. I looked back at my captain and coworkers.

Cragen looked like a cross between shocked, worried and mad. Fin just looked at me, a little surprised. Munch just raised his eyebrows. I take it they figured I was the father.

"That's me." I stood up.

"Okay, then if you will just come with me."

"Of course," I said but Cragen pulled me back.

"A word detective?" He asked but without letting me answer pulled me anyway, "excuse me." He told Doctor Shepard.

"You and Liv…you're…dating?" He asked but it came out in more of a statement.

"Yes sir."

"How long?" His voice was low and I could tell he was a little mad.

"Two months. I know you're mad, but I have to go." I walked away towards the doctor, "Liv needs me."

Doctor Shepard led the way to Olivia's room. When we got there she was laying there, studying her fingernails, totally bored. We both hated hospitals with a passion.

"Liv!" I ran up to her and gave her a hug, while softly planting kisses in her hair.

"El." She whispered. I pulled back and kissed her forehead.

"How are you?"

"Fine I guess, not too much pain right now."

"Okay good." I grabbed her hand turned back to face the doctor.

"You have…the results?" She seemed scared to ask.

"Yes, Miss Benson are you ready?"

Liv sighed and squeezed my hand tighter, "no, but I have to…I need to know."

"Miss Benson…" She took a long pause and shot us a worried smile. "Im so sorry to say this but you are not pregnant. It was not a result of what happened today, there was something else wrong."

"Don't tell me." She whispered, "I…I don't want to know."

"However, it wasn't due to age either. So you could try again, but there are risks. Are you sure you don't want to know what happened? It could be a another risk if you do try again."

"No. I cant…I just…" I looked over to see a single tear run down her face. I hugged her again, pulling her tight and close in my arms. She buried her head in my shoulder and sobbed.

"Im so sorry Livy. I know how much you wanted a baby." I whispered into her ear.

And I did. She didn't come right out and say it but there were plenty of signs. I only thought about it as being another responsibility and how hard it would be with work. But when she told me, I quickly accepted it because I knew how happy she would be. I also knew that we would figure everything out. I actually suddenly wanted a baby too. But now, I felt devastated. Even though I only knew for a few hours that she was pregnant it still hurt inside. But I could tell she was feeling far, far worse.

"Ill leave you two alone." The doctor left, giving us a small smile.

"Liv, I know right now it doesn't seem like it, but it'll be okay. I promise, we'll get through this." She just starred at me in disbelief before responding.

"I hope." She whispered. I held her face in my hands and kissed her.

After I pulled back I looked at her and cleared my throat, "We will. Olivia, you are the strongest, bravest, amazing, person I know. It's going to be hell for a little while, but you'll make it. We'll make it. Liv, I will never ever leave you. You know that right?" I asked and then kissed her forehead. She looked at me a minute before answering.

"Yes, I know. I love you."

"I love you too." We smiled and I sat down next to her.

"Does Cragen know about us now?" She looked at me, concerned as she changed the subject.

I sighed before answering, "Yes."

"Well this day has just been amazing so far." She grumbled.

"I know, but considering the situation I don't think he's too mad. Right now."

"Fun."

"I know."

"Im tiered."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No."

"Then I wont." And I didn't. While she slept, I sat holding her hand, thinking. Thinking about how the whole pregnancy thing would really effect her. If she would become worse or this would be about it. Knowing Liv though, she wouldn't show it on the outside. On the inside it could be killing her. And I could never know.

_Review please!_

_-JustAGirlIGuess_


	8. She was right

**It's finally here! yay! I was totally going to write earlier but had drama issues :/ Anyhooodddlleee, I own nothing, its all Dick Wolf**

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. This case was really getting to me. Of course any case with children did, especially after the miscarriage. But this one, just drove me crazy. Some rich, little brat gets pregnant and thinks this baby is going to be some new accessory. When she realizes how hard it is to be a single parent -especially at 17- she just stops taking care of the baby. The baby starts crying , so she kills him.

She tells her parents and all that happens is she gets a lecture and grounded. They got charged with accessory to murder. I just got out of interviewing her, and it didn't go to well. Plain and simple, the girls a bitch. I ran the interview through my mind.

"What happened after you had your breakdown at school?" Elliot asked.

"Um, I went home." She replied in a bored, snobbish tone.

"Then?"

"I went to my room and found a note from the nanny. Something happened and she had to leave. The kid was laying in its crib crying."

"What time did she leave?"

"Um, like 3 hours earlier."

"So your child had been left alone for three hours?" I asked.

"Like yeah, did you not just hear me?"

"Did you care?" She glared at me.

"Sure."

"Really? If that had been me I would've been pissed."

"You have kids detective?"

"This isn't about me Ashley, this is about how you killed your baby." My voice lowered and turned cold.

"I guess not," She snickered. "What, got too old? Or no guy wanted to bang you?" She sat back looking at me with a smug grin. She knew that she officially, really pissed me off.

"So, your baby wouldn't stop crying. What did you do?" My partner said, trying to ignore what she said. I took a deep breath and thanked him in my head for changing the subject.

"Turned on my music. I had to turn it up really loud, the kid was screaming." She rolled her eyes. I wanted to punch her.

"Is that would you call your baby? Just 'the kid'? He had name didn't he?" I asked, clearly mad.

"Yeah, its his nickname." That was her excuse? This was all just a joke to her.

"Gosh, its filled with love," I rolled my eyes this time. "But he wouldn't be quiet would he?"

"No, he like never shuts up!"

"So then what? You turned up your music even louder? Only that didn't help did it?" I leaned in close to her face, " he still wouldn't shut up! And it was driving you crazy wasn't it? First you have a breakdown at school and publicly embarrass yourself now you have to deal with a crying baby. That must have been hell. So you figure you can cover it with a pillow, and its working. But when you finally breathe a sigh of relief, there 'the kid' goes again. So you pick him up. And you start shaking him. And shaking him. But he's only crying harder so you shake him harder, but now your hands are around his neck. You're still shaking then, suddenly its quiet. What was that quiet like Ashley?" I glared at the trembling, pale girl in front of me. But I can tell by her eyes she's not going to give me the satisfaction of breaking her. She's gona rub it in my face.

"Heaven. It was heaven detective, finally some damn peace and quiet. I bet you know what I did next too huh? I-"

"Ashley, as your lawyer-" Her lawyer, a tall, plain blond placed a hand on her shoulder and speaks for the first him. But Ashley shakes it off.

" I kicked it to see what would happen. I picked up by its arm and I wrapped it in a sweater from 4 seasons ago, its not like some dead thing was getting one from last season. But I was concerned it was going to be found, so I put it in a trash bag and dumped my trash in there. Then I had the housekeeper who just arrived to throw it away. She asked where the kid was and I told her the truth. Gone." She gave me a smug grin like it was something to be proud of.

"Your proud of this?" I asked disgusted, "You killed your baby! You could've gave him up for adoption or taken him to hospital or police station! This was a baby, your baby! Did you even love him at all? Did you feel anything when you held him for the first time?"

"What? Its not like I cant have another baby. Im not old," She snickered, nodding her head towards me. "And there are still guys who wana do me, unlike you."

"See, that's where you're wrong Ashley. I happen to have a boyfriend and a intimate relationship. But you better tell those guys to wait awhile."

"Why?" She was clearly confused when I stood up and walked over to her with my handcuffs. Did she not just remember what she said?

"Because, princess you're going to jail. Ashley Hastings, you are under the rest for the murder of Jason Hastings." I proceeded to read Ashley her rights.

"Liv?" Stabler asked, shaking me out of my thoughts. "how are you?" He stood up and came over to hold me in his arms. I looked over at Cragen who had heard what Ashley said to me and was letting it slide.

After he found at about the relationship he was mad ,a little shocked (well no, not really. No one in the squad), but a little impressed that we were so good at hiding it. He talked to IA and our partnership and jobs at SVU could stay as long as we kept it professional and in no way did we let anything show or happen on the job. We did pretty good except for the occasional glare and reminder of "keeping it professional."

"Fine I guess. I just…I cant get that image of her rubbing it in my face that she very well could, can get pregnant again. And I have a slim chance of getting pregnant, and it even going good from there."

"Well maybe if you would just let-" He sat back down and was about to lecture me, once again for refusing to learn what happened with my first pregnancy. But I think he noticed I was on the verge of crying and held his tongue.

"Im sorry Livy, I just think you should found out what happened."

"I know you do," I snapped. "its not like you don't remind me every five minutes." I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I only did that because I felt like a bitch for what I said and he couldn't follow me in here. Once I got in, I sat on a stall and cried. It had been 3 months and this miscarriage was still bugging the hell out of me. I just wanted to get it out of my mind but I couldn't.

When I was little, my mom got drunk and went on about how I would grow up and become a failure. She said it was karma for making her one. She said I was a screw up, and there was something wrong with me. Her words came back to haunt me, maybe she was right. It not a maybe, she is right. There's something wrong with me.

_I know, a lot of people want me to reveal what happened and soon it shall happen. But now I want to complain. My "best friend" from 5th grade emailed me today. This is the girl who moved across the country and we still kept in contact. This is the girl who came back to visit family and we made sure we hung out. This is the girls Ive emailed, called and texted for three years because she was my" best friend". This girl emails me today saying it was alllll fake and she actually felt sorry for me and said Im bitch who needs to die. So I said I was better off without her, I felt sorry for her cos she was new and had no friends and that the Bible quote at the end ruins the whole "you're a bitch, go die" thing. Anyway it pissed me off I and I felt like sharring. I want to go get more flamin hot chips but its 3:52 in the morning and I need sleep. Review please!_

_-JustAGirlIGuess (God I just read my comment and realized it was hella random. hehe hella... I sound like Cartmen. XD)_


	9. Talking about it

**I wana say thanks to everyone who review and reads my story, it makes me feel loved :). Also thanks to the people who gave me support about the drama with my ex-friend. Anyway...Dick Wolf owns the fabulous Benson, Stabler and all the other fabulous characters, including the not so fabulous Kathy XD Oh and btw, there never was a Eli (I didnt feel like putting him in) and even though this is all taking place as of right now, the kids are still young (cause I want them to be.)**

I sighed as I watcher her storm away, tears gathering in her eyes. We're both at fault here though, well mostly me. She's right, I am constantly asking/lecturing her about calling her doctor to find out what's wrong. Sometimes Im tempted to do it myself. But every time I bring it up, she gets all moody and depressed. Okay, so I guess I should let it drop, but I know she's curious too. But she's too scared to call.

"Where's Liv at?" Fin asked, looking up from his paperwork.

"She's…"

"Let me guess, you brought up that she should call the doctor. So she went of to cry" Munch said. I glared at him.

"I know she wants to know, she's too scared though." I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

"Have you tried talking about it?" Munch asked.

"Yeah, it ends after about a minute with her being all pissy and almost crying."

"That doesn't sound like her." Fin replied, as he sat back.

"Its not like her. The whole miscarriage thing, changed her a little bit. I've never seen her so stressed or moody. Especially with work, I knew how hard the case we just closed was going for her. So I suggested that she ask Cragen to take her off, she almost bit my head off."

Munch grinned a little, "that…sounds more like her."

"Anytime it's a hard case with work or something with her whole pregnancy issue, she just…changes."

"Maybe she should talk to Huang?"

"He's tried." I sighed.

She came back out in about 10 minutes, her eyes bloodshot and glassy. She sat down, lowered her head as low as possible and worked on paperwork. I couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"Liv?" I reached my hand across my desk and touched her wrist. She stopped writing and looked up.

"What?"

"Im sorry, about what I said. I really think you should talk to your doctor but that's my opinion. Can you promise me that we can at least try to have a decent discussion tonight?" I looked at her in the eyes and gave a small smile.

"Fine. And El?"

"Yeah?"

"Im sorry too."

"Its okay." I wanted to add more on but, I knew work was not the place to talk about it and she already felt bad enough. I could tell.

We left about a hour later, so it was about 7:00 when we got home. As soon as we walked in the door, Liv hung up her coat and made her way towards the bathroom.

"Im going to go take a shower." I knew she was going to stall our talk as long as possible. But tomorrow was our day off, so there was always then.

"Okay, Ill heat up the leftovers in a little bit then."

"Or, you could just order Chinese and save them for tomorrow" She leaned against the wall, giving me a grin.

"Okay, I will." I laughed.

"Thanks." She closed the door and I heard the water come on a minute later. I ordered the food, put on some sweats and a t-shirt and sat on the couch. While flipping through channels, my cell phone rang.

"Stabler."

"Hi daddy." My daughter Kathleen said.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Mom was wondering if you could take us shopping for our Halloween costumes tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Its already the 25th, why don't you guys have them yet?"

"She's been busy." I could her the sarcasm in her voice and knew she was rolling her eyes.

"Well, you guys are lucky that's my day off tomorrow. Sure, me and Liv can take you."

"Thanks. Also, she's going to a party with her boyfriend, can we come over Saturday?" Kathleen's voice was disgusted as she muttered out the word "boyfriend."

"I'll…yeah sure." I was about to say, "I'll have to check with Olivia." But she loves my kids so I knew she would say yes.

"Thanks daddy, I love you."

"Bye, love you too." I shut my phone and sighed. Ever since Kathy got a boyfriend, the kids complained about never getting to spend time with her.

I called the Chinese takeout and they said they would be here in about 25 minutes. I counted to flip through channels and finally found one decent tv show. Liv came out of the bedroom in sweats and a t-shirt and sat next to me.

"Lets talk after dinner okay?" I asked, pulling her close. She sighed resting her head on my chest.

"Fine." Dinner arrived and we sat down to eat.

"So, Kathleen was wondering if we could take her and the twins shopping for Halloween costumes tomorrow." I said breaking the silence.

"What about Maureen? Or is 16 too old to be trick or treating?"

"I guess so. Also, they want to come over on Halloween. Kathy's going out."

"Sure, it's totally fine with me."

After we finally finished eating, we sat on the couch and I held her in my arms.

"Are you scared?"

She took a minute before answering, "well wouldn't you be if there was something wrong with you. And don't say there's nothing wrong with me after what happened."

"Well maybe there's not. If you talked to Doctor Shepard, and found out what happened, maybe there's a way to prevent that."

"I guess. Do you really want me to call her?"

"Do you really want to have a baby?"

"We could always adopt."

"I've never thought about that. But what do you mean by 'adopt'? We know how hard it can be with foster children, and then there's our jobs." I could picture it all now, not good.

"Or, there's underage girls who get pregnant and don't want the baby. I didn't mean to adopt a child, I want a baby El."

"Well first things first, call the doctor tomorrow so we can find out what's wrong. Do you promise?"

"I'll…fine, I'll call. I promise. But El?"

"Yeah?"

"Im…Im scared."

"Oh Liv." I pulled her even closer to me and kissed her hair. My partner doesn't even give you signs to show she's scared, let alone say it. I knew there had to be more behind her words.

"Is it all about the miscarriage or is there something else?"

She took a couple minutes before answering. "Im scared my mothers right."

"About what sweetheart?"

"She…she told me someday karma was going to get back at me for…being born and ruining her life. She said I was a screw up. I used to just ignore it and tell myself she was drunk, but its hard to believe that when it's all she tells you, sometimes sober too."

"Oh Livy. There's nothing wrong with you. You cant help being born." I could feel tears starting to fall so I turned to face her and wiped them.

"I think this is the first time, we've…done this. I've never really opened to someone like this before."

"Thanks for letting me be your first." She smiled.

"Thanks for being my first." She pressed her forehead to mine and gave me a small kiss.

"Anytime." She pulled back and turned on the tv. I leaned back and hugged her tight to me, finally she was calling Dr. Shepard. We were both about asleep when my cell phone rang.

"Stabler." I mumbled, not at all ready for the response I got.

"Daddy…can I come over?"

"Kathleen, whats wrong?" I sat up. Liv looked over with a worried expression.

"I hate mom! She…she slapped me."

"Why? What happened?" Anger ran throughout me at the thought of Kathy hitting one of our kids.

"Well, you know mom got us the puppy. He heard a noise and started barking. Her boyfriend told the dog to shut up but he wouldn't so he got up and hit him. I told him that the puppy was a only a puppy and didn't know any better. I didn't have attitude or anything but he said I did and if I talked like that to him again, I'd get grounded. I told him he wasn't anything to me, mom heard got mad and slapped me." My fourteen year old daughter sobbed, "I hate him! I don't care if he's been dating mom for 6months, he cant try to be my dad! He's bossy to us, mean to the dog but mom doesn't care! Please, please come get me!"

"Hold on honey okay?"

"Okay," she sobbed. I turned to Liv and quickly told her what happened. She stood up and grabbed her coat.

"Let's go get her, she can spend the night here. Don't they have tomorrow off of school?"

"Yeah, teacher work day." I picked up my phone again, "okay, me and Liv are coming to get you. What about your siblings?"

"They're okay. He hates me because I give him the most trouble about him and mom."

"Im sorry, I really am Kathleen. I promise we'll be there soon okay? Pack some clothes for tonight."

"Okay, daddy." She paused for a minute and I heard noises in the background, "Mom wants to talk to you." I sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Are you really going to drive over here?"

"You slapped my daughter because your boyfriend thinks he has balls ordering the kids around like he's their dad and she didn't like it. She miserable Kathy, and you're too blind to see that. Tell her that I'll call when Im there." I hung up the phone and walked out with Liv.

_Wow. I think this is my longest chapter yet! I know the whole thing with Kathleen was totally random but I just thought I'd add it for more drama. Now im debating if I should go downstairs and get chipsand rasberrry lemonade...Im lazy at night...screw it, Im hungry. Review and I'll love you forevera and eva and eva! _

_-JustAGirlIGuess_


	10. Forced smiles

**Yes, I did change the tittle. I also explained why on my profile. I own nothing here...:'(. Its all Dick Wolf whos half a genius. Hes a genius for making SVU but he's not very smart because Olivias last name isn't Stabler...yet ;)**

Our drive to Queens was quiet, except for the radio lightly playing. I must have fell asleep because the next thing I knew, Elliot was kissing my forehead saying he'd be right back.

"Okay," I yawned. I sat there in silence waiting. Well it was pretty silent except for the yelling I heard in the house. All of a sudden a door slammed and out came Kathleen

"Hi." She muttered, opening the door. Her eyes were red and puffy and I got out to help her.

"Hey hon." I said as I loaded her suitcase in to the trunk. I was about to close her door but she stopped me.

"Livia?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you sit back here with me?"

"Sure," I smiled climbing in. Right as I was closing the door, Elliot came out looking mad, Kathy yelling behind him.

"Don't say Im a bad mom! At least there for the kids. Not out with some other lady!" I noticed Kathleen cringe a little and move closer to me.

"It's called work Kathy! God, you never got that! And according to the kids, ever since you met your prince charming, you're never there!"

Her face turned red and her voice raised even louder then before, "screw off Elliot!" She screeched slamming the door. Elliot got in, sighing and closing his door. He looked back at us.

"Ready?" Kathleen shook her head yes.

She fell asleep 5 minutes into driving. Elliot noticed and we started to talk.

"According to Maureen, it's the worst for her."

"What about the other kids?"

"Maureen is never there, always at a friends house. And if she is, she's locked in her room blasting music. Lizzie tries to spend time with Kathy, so she's actually taking it the best. Dickie's either outside with his friends or locked in his room. But Kathleen, she's always locked in her room. Or fighting with Kathy." He sighed and I knew how stressful this was for him.

We finally got home and Kathleen woke up. We have a two bedroom apartment. In the spare room, we keep a single bed a bunk beds for the girls. Dickie sleeps on the couch. Since we're pretty crowded in here, when the kids come over we always go out and do something.

"Im going to bed. Good night you guys." Kathleen called out. We both said good night and her door closed. I looked over at Elliot.

"Im pretty tiered too. I'll see you in bed?"

"Yeah, Im just gona have something to drink real quick." He walked over and hugged me tight.

"Thanks, for being so supportive and understanding with the kids."

"Of course, they're your kids El. And I love them too." I said. He held me tighter.

"Good night Liv." He kissed my forehead.

I woke up the next day without him next to me. I threw on some jeans and a cream colored sweater. Kathleen was sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Hey Liv! Dad went to get everybody else." I sat next to her.

"Okay, when did he leave?"

"About 8:45, so he should be back soon. I already know what costume I want."

"You do?"

"Yup, we've already picked them out, just haven't bought them yet. Im going to be a bumble bee, Lizzie's going to be Cleopatra, Dickey's going to be a pirate and Maureen wants to be Marilyn Monroe."

"I though Maureen wasn't trick or treating."

"Halloween party."

"Oh, I have to go make a phone call. I'll be right back."

"Okay," She smiled brightly and I forced one.

I was going to call Dr .Shepard. I was nervous as hell, I just wished Elliot could be here. But I knew I had to get it done today. I went in to the bedroom and picked up my cell phone.

"Hello, this is Mercy hospital."

"Hi, can I speak to Doctor Shepard please?"

"Of course, one minute please." A couple minutes later the doctor spoke.

"Hello, this is Dr. Shepard."

"Hi, it's Olivia Benson. I…I want to know what happened, with my pregnancy."

"Oh hello Ms. Benson. Im very glad you called. Olivia, you have a hormone problem."

"Okay."

"Your particular problem is called polycystic ovary syndrome, or PCOS."

"Oh, I've heard of it."

"Okay good, what do you know about it?"

"It makes it hard to get pregnant and have a normal pregnancy."

"Yes, basically that's it. We're going to need you to make a appointment to come in to talk to me, just to get a better understanding."

"Oh, okay. Why wasn't I diagnosed before though?"

She sighed before answering, "it all depends. Some women are diagnosed young, some not." The front door opened and I heard Elliot call out my name.

"Oh. I…I have to go. Um I'll just um make my appointment later. Thank you Doctor."

"You're welcome Ms. Benson." I hung up the phone and sat on the bed. Elliot knocked on the door.

"Liv, can I come in?"

"Sure," I said weakly. I must've looked like there was something wrong because as soon as he saw me, he rushed over.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"I have polycystic ovary syndrome. PCOS." I said in a quiet voice. It felt more real, saying it aloud.

"Oh Livy." He pulled me close in to his arms and held me tight.

"Daddy?" I heard Maureen's voice outside the door.

"Hold on Mo." He called, as I rested my head on his chest. I heard her hesitate like she wanted to say something else but then I heard the pitter patter of her feet walk away.

"We, should go. They're waiting. Im fine."

"Liv, they cant wait another 20 minutes or so if you wana talk about this."

"No, really El. Im okay." I lied as I stood up and forced a smile on my face. He stood up too and held my arms.

"Olivia Benson, you are the strongest person I know." He kissed my cheek and we walked out. My forced smile was still there and most likely, obviously fake looking. But no one said anything except to tell me hi.

We got to the costume shop, and the went off to find their costumes. Elliot and me were walking with Maureen and Lizzie so they could get their wigs when Lizzie spotted the adult costumes.

"Livia, you should dress up too!"

"Nah, I don't think so."

"My friends mom dresses up every year."

"That sounds cool. I just don't think I'll get a costume. Maybe I can get a witch hat though?" I said smiling. Elliot came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love that French maid one." He pointed to the very, very, short, lacey maids outfit that came with a feather duster and maids hat. Maureen must've heard because her ears turned red and she glared at Elliot.

"I don't think they have your size in that one." I smirked at him. He leaned in close to me.

"I bet they have yours." He whispered sexily in my ear. I left his grip and smacked his arm.

"There's children present." I reminded him. "Come on guys." The girls dashed ahead and I looked back at Elliot, "but later there wont be." I flashed him a smile and caught up with the girls.

A hour later, I sat on the couch with bags next to me filled with Halloween decorations we decided to get for the house.. Elliot had left about 35 minutes ago to take the kids home. My phone buzzed and I sighed,

"Benson."

"We need you and your partner."

"What happened? And he just left to take his kids home, about 40 minutes ago."

"I'll call him. Anyway, 15 year old girl came in to the precinct, with her little sister, claiming abuse from the dad and step mom. They both looked starved. While Fin was talking to the little girl, the 15 year old pulled me aside. She said she needed the morning after pill." My stomach dropped.

"I'll be right there." I said, hanging up my phone and grabbing my coat to brace the cold October weather.

On my way to work, I started thinking, about work. Maybe enough was enough, and it was time to do something else. My whole reason behind coming to SVU was to help victims, because of my past. To help children who had been abused, because I knew what it was like. To help rape victims because of my mother. And I had done that, I had done a lot of that.

As satisfying as it was to lock up a criminal, the entire process that led up to that moment, sucked. Sometimes I really hated my job. For example, now. Any case with children I hated. But since this one had a possibly pregnant 15 year old girl, most likely because she was raped, who on top of that was abused along with her little sister. So this a time when I really couldn't stand my job, I would hate it with a passion until we locked up the assholes responsible for these girl's pain. Then, I would just feel relief. That is was finally over. But, now I think its time to feel the relief of never having to get a call at 3:00 in the morning because someone had been raped, or a child was molested or abused. I think it was time to leave SVU.

_Yay! I finally reveled what happened with Liv.I got the PCOS thing from Kate Gosselin, since thats what she has (btw, I think shes kickass for being so strong about all the shit life's put her through and doing everything for her kids so no hatin on her in the reviews or you will pay) I watched Wildlife to day, and the look on Elliots face when Liv pretends to be a hooker was priceless. I was all "ooo homebody's happy!" Review, because it inspires to continue writing._

_-JustAGirlIGuess_


	11. You should've talked to me

**Two chapters in one night! Well, really early morning actually but still- I did it! Lol I belive I deserve at least a few reviews for that right? Righhtttt... I own nothing here, because if I did, Novak wouldnt have left, Dani Bitch *cough cough* excuse me, Beck would have never kissed Elliot, Kathy's last name would not be Stabler and Elliot and Liv would have a makeoutscene every episode and there would be mini Olivia-Elliots running around. Enjoy :)**

I walked into the precinct and noticed Liv wasn't at her desk.

"Where's Liv?" I asked Munch.

"Interrogation." I nodded and joined Cragen behind the one sided mirror to hear what was going on.

"Maci, where you raped?" My partner asked.

"Y-yes," The girl stuttered out.

"When?"

"Last night."

"Do you know your attacker?" The girl didn't answer, just lowered her head and let tears fall. "Maci, I know this is hard, really hard. But if you know who did this to you, he will go to jail."

"My…my step mom's nephew. He's about 20 and he came over with her sister. The adults got drunk and were doing drugs. So they didn't care. I screamed a lot but they just turned up their music."

"Do you know his name?"

"I heard his mom call him Danny but I think his real name is Daniel. Their last name is Parker."

"Okay, " Olivia sighed. "Maci, can you tell me what happened last night?" I turned away as the crying, shaking girl told her story.

"Do you want me to run the name through the computer?" Cragen only nodded.

A few minutes later, I was looking at the mug shot of Daniel Parker. Arrested on drug charges, trespassing, breaking and entering and assault. I sighed. I decide to run the adults names through the system. All three had been arrested on numerous drug counts, the dad on sexual harassment. Well that caught my eyes. I skimmed through the report, apparently he thought it was okay to grab a coworker's ass and chest, even though she screamed no.

About 5 minutes later, Cragen, Liv and Maci came out.

"Im taking her to Mercy." Liv said as she guided the shaking girl out of the squad. Cragen came over sighing.

"What do we got?"

"Daniel Parker, arrested on a drug charge, trespassing, breaking and entering and assault. His mom and Maci's step mom on numerous drug charges. The dad, drug charges as well along with sexual harassment."

"What'd he do?"

"Grabbed a coworkers ass and chest, even though she screamed no the entire time." He sighed and pointed to me and Fin.

"Go pick up Daniel. We can get the dad and step mom after we get a statement from Maci's little sister Cora."

The drive to Parker's apartment was pretty silent.

"I wonder what's gona happen to the girls," Fin broke the awkward silence

"Foster care probably. I don't think there's any relative."

"Do we know what happened to the mom?"

"Girls wont say. She probably left them." Fin was about to say something but we pulled up to Parker's.

"Let's get the bastard."

Moments later we were leading Parker back to the car, while neighbors came out and watched.

"Good riddance!" A old lady shouted, "all you ever did was have your punk friends over and blast your music. I never got any sleep!" Neighbor's nodded in agreement. Fin looked at him.

"I take it you weren't too popular here huh?"

"Screw off, she's a old bitch" he mumbled.

"No wonder why, you're a jerk." Fin pushed him in the car and slammed the door shut.

We got back to SVU and Olivia was walking out of Cragen's office. She looked a little scared but relieved. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I quit." She mouthed back to me, sitting down at her desk. I stood in the middle of the squad, shocked.

"Stabler! My office!" The captain shouted, anger in his voice. I sighed and walked in.

"Do you have any idea why Olivia just walked in here, said she was done, put her gun on my desk and walked out?"

"No sir, she didn't mentioned quitting at all."

"Is there any reason why she decided to?" I just sighed and sat down.

"It isn't my business to discuss with you, but today she called the doctor to find out what happened with her baby." Cragen's face softened and he sighed.

"Do you think that could be why?"

"It's possible I guess."

"Go talk to her." He sighed and buried his face in his hands. I could tell he was a cross between mad, stressed and sympathetic for Olivia. I walked out and sat at my desk.

"Let's talk Liv."

We made our way to the roof and sat next to each other.

"Why? Is it because of what you found out today?"

"No, El…I just couldn't do it any more. I couldn't take it."

"Maybe you just need some time off." I suggested. She looked up at me and I could tell she was a little mad.

"No, a vacation's not going to help. I've been thinking about it and-" I cut her off.

"If you've been thinking about it, why haven't you told me? We could've talked about it."

"Because, it wasn't about you. I don't have to tell you every little thing that crossed my mind." We stood up and she glared at me.

"Little? This isn't a 'little thing' Liv, its you quitting your job. And it does concern me, I'm your boyfriend and partner." I exclaimed.

"Okay, it concerns you. But it's not about you. It really has nothing to do with you since you're not the reason why I'm quitting." She shot back.

"Well whether I'm part of it or not, I think I had a right to know."

"And you were going to know! I was going to talk to you tonight but after taking Maci to Mercy…I just had to do it."

"Why couldn't you at least wait until we finished this case?"

"I just told you why! I couldn't take it anymore1 Who knows how much longer it's going to last?"

"So you're just going to leave the girls? I could see how Maci was with you, she felt safe. And now you're just going to fail them?"

"I'm not failing anyone, don't say that. Why cant you just support me with this?"

"I'm not supporting something stupid."

"Oh, so how I'm feeling is stupid? How I couldn't take it anymore is stupid?"

"I didn't say that."

"You basically just did. Why does this bug you so much?"

"Because, we never talked about this Liv! I trusted you to talk to me, and this is what you do!" I yelled.

She glared at me and crossed her arms, "If you hadn't cut me off earlier, you would know that sometimes I thought about leaving. Not all the time but a little more lately. On my way to work, I decided that it was time. I decided we would talk about it tonight but soon I would be done. I thought that you would understand, at least a little bit."

""If we had talked before, then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation."

"You don't get it Elliot! It wouldn't have mattered how many times we talked about it, sooner or later I was going to be done! Just accept that, okay?"

"So now what are you going to do? Sit on your ass all day while I work?"

"I cant believe you think I would do that! You know me better then that! I'll get a job okay? I'll figure it out, and since your throwing a temper tantrum I'll probably being doing it alone."

"Why don't you just stay here until we figure it out. Cragen can put you on desk duty." She threw her hands up in the air.

"You really don't understand, I cant do this any more! I cant handle these cases, the victims. Im done with it!"

"No, I do understand. I do the same thing. But when something's wrong I talk to you about it don't I? We discuss it!"

"Talking about it, wouldn't have kept me here. We do talk about it! You're overreacting because I didn't tell you one little thought."

"Well if I had been thinking about quitting, I would have came to you and we would've talked about it. Remember how he promised to talk to each other when something was bugging us? I would have done that!"

"Maybe this is why I didn't tell you, because of your damn attitude."

"Well at least I would've handled the situation better." She looked taken back and I mentally kicked myself, that was low.

"This isn't about you, its about me and how I feel. Which you obviously don't give a shit about."

"I do, don't say that."

"Really? Then why are you being such a ass to me ?" She stormed off and I could tell I had made her cry. Freakin wonderful.

_Even though I wrote that, I wanted to slab Stabler. I kinda need to have a real reason for why Stabler was beign such a butthead..my mom HATES when I say that .I called my dog that and she shoots me a dirty look and goes"dont say that to Bernie (our butthead dog...who I love...)" But I still say it and she just ignores it. *sigh* I wish a had a puppy that loved my more then my other dogs do. I would train him to attack people...whoaI got off topic and this is long. So if anyone has a idea of what Elliot's excuse could be for being such a jerk, please share :) oh and btw, suggestions are always welcomed and considered._

_-JustAGirlIGuess_


	12. Before I fall

**Mmmkayyyy, here it is! I finally was able to get this out after suffering from severe writers block. I own nothing here... :'( It all Dick Wolf who had better have Elliot and Liv kiss before Chris Meloni leaves (theres a lot of rumours going around but sadly I think its coming up soon) or I shall start a riot and we shall attack ;)**

Except, for a few tears, I didn't cry after that fight. I wasn't just mad, I was pissed. I was shocked that no matter how many times I told him I couldn't do it, he suggested to stay anyway. It was like nothing I said was mattering to him. It felt like my feelings, my personal being didn't matter. I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I knew that after hearing Maci's story, having the doctors tell me both girls were very unhealthy and could've easily taken a turn for the worse, seeing Maci scream and flip out when a male nurse walked in, I knew I was done.

I knew I was done because I had the courage to tell Cragen, to say those words. Before when I felt like quitting, my mind told me I had to do it. That I just needed to talk to someone. So I would. I would take my mind of the case somehow and finally decide to stay. But this time I knew for sure, I had this gut feeling saying I couldn't take it anymore. I had a voice screaming in my head, telling me it was time. And I was right.

I knew Cragen was going to call me into his office eventually and figured it would be soon. So right as I was about sit down I heard his door open.

"Olivia? Can we talk?" He called out.

"Yes Captain." I walked over and I could feel my colleagues eye's on me. I sat down across from him and he cleared his throat.

"Can you tell me why you quit?"

"I couldn't handle it anymore. This case…just pushed me to the edge. So I knew I had to quit before I fell."

"Why this case? We've had harder ones before. Or is there something else?" He questioned and I stared down. Something else? Wait, Elliot came to talk to him. So maybe he said something. And then it hit me, Elliot probably told him about my PCOS. God damn him.

"Something else?" I asked anyway.

"Are you having any personal problems?" I sighed before answering.

"I called my doctor this morning. I have PCOS."

"Oh, I'm sorry Liv. My mother's best friend had that. So is that why you quit?"

"Partly. Like you've said, we've had tougher cases then this. But seeing Cora and Maci scream when a male nurse came into there room, hearing Maci tell me what happened, I just finally realized I cant wake up everyday and have to do this. Im sorry."

"Don't be sorry, it's hard. I get it, we all get it. Are you 100% positive though?"

"Yes sir." I nodded. He walked over and I stood up. He embraced me in a hug.

"It doesn't matter whether you work here or not, you are welcome any time to the squad. All of us will always be here for you. Come say hi every once in awhile."

"I will captain." I smiled and we pulled apart.

"And if Stabler ever gives you any crap about anything, come by and I'll drown him in paper work," we both laughed but I sighed inside. Stabler, would be out there and I would have to face him.

"Then you'll be seeing me a lot." We laughed again.

"There's paper work and all that stuff to fill out but you can do that tomorrow."

"Okay thanks, I'll probably start cleaning out my desk." Right as I was walking out I ran into Casey.

"Hey Liv, I got that search warrant for the Parker/ Steven apartment."

"I cant take it, give it to Cragen."

"Why?"

"I quit."

"You what?" She shrieked, getting looks from everyone.

"Shut up! I quit I said, and if you scream one more time…"

"Okay, okay. But God I don't know what to say. Um congrats?"

"Sure thanks." We laughed a little.

"I have to go give this to Cragen but when I come out we can talk."

"Okay good. Also, we're going shopping tonight."

"May I ask why?"

"We have something else to talk about." I could already picture her face when I told her I had PCOS. Not good. She had been almost as disappointed as me, she had been waiting forever to be a godmother.

Elliot came back then, and I could tell he felt guilty but was still mad. He sat at his desk and started in on paper work.

"Oooh there's your sexy Stabler." She smirked.

Ever since she got me drunk and I admitted to liking him, she called him my "sexy Stabler." One time she accidentally called him that, while he was standing right by us. We went out for a drink after work and right in front of him she said it. I just blushed and told him she was wasted, and of course she objected making me feel even more stupid. He didn't understand anything though, just thought she was crazy. I didn't disagree.

"Just go give Cragen the damn search warrant." I mumbled walking away. She raised her eyebrows but did as told.

I sat at my desk and emptied all the crap from my drawers on top. This was going to take forever to go through. Elliot didn't say anything and neither did I. So we sat in silence for about 5 minutes then Novak came over.

"Hey El."

"Hi." He muttered. It was quiet for a minute before she finally noticed something was wrong.

"Oh I see you two are fighting," She crossed her arms and looked over at my partner. "What the hell did you do Stabler?"

"Shut up Novak." He growled.

"Ah, I can see you must have really screwed up."

"I don't believe this involves you Casey."

"Im her best friend, I know everything. And trust me, I do know everything…" She shot him a wicked grin and I looked up in horror.

"Casey!" I exclaimed.

"Alright, alright. I'll shut up."

"Thank freakin God." Elliot mumbled.

"Oh shut up Stabler, you know you like me. Anyway, what time do you want to go shopping tonight?"

"As soon as you're done."

"Okay, I'll text you. I better go before Jack has my ass. See ya Liv, bye Elliot."

"Bye counselor," He said as she left. As soon as the elevator door close he looked up at me. "You're going out tonight?"

"Just so I can tell her about my PCOS. It wont be too long, because we have to talk. So don't even tell me your sorry now, there'll be time for that later." I gave him a small smile so he knew I wasn't extremely mad at him.

We were making small conversation, not really talking about anything in particular.

"Spring cleaning in the middle of October? I think you're a little late Livy."

"Munch! God, you scared me!" I exclaimed. Fin came up behind him.

"Don't worry baby girl, he scares all of us." Well all laughed, except Munch who pretended to be hurt.

"And you're the one who's a little late. It's not the middle of October, Halloween's in 4 days. And I'm not spring cleaning."

"Then what are you doing?" He eyed me over his glasses. I sighed and spun my chair to face them.

"Guys, I quit."

"Why?" Fin imeadetly questioned.

"I couldn't deal with it anymore. I cant handle it anymore."

No one said anything for a couple minutes. Munch and Fin sat down and we all pretended to be busy with something.

"So you're really doing it?" Munch asked, breaking the tense awkward silence.

"Yup." I said, breathing a sigh of relief, I was almost done cleaning out my desk. Just the top. Elliot shot me a sad smile and I felt a little guilty. But it was quickly gone, I had no reason to.

**I decided that it was really weird that I went from bold to italics so Im just gona stick to bold . I think its about time to end the story, probably one more chapter from each of their p.o.v's then the epilogue. Btw, the whole thing Liv told Cragen about the case pushing her to edge, I thought was pretty creative :). My lang arts teacher would've liked it. Of course thats just me (the chick who stays up till 4AM on fanfic) and him (hes pretty cool, but he says "dude" and "okay" a lot. And when he gets really mad, its so scary you wana pee your pants. But he only did that like 3 times last year.) So yeah.**

**-JustAGirlIGuess**


	13. Practice makes perfect

**Okay, so I deiced that this will be the last chapter! The epilogue will be next, and I'll tie up all the loose ends. I own nothing, Dick Wolf does..blah blah blah. Pleaseeee review!**

Olivia and me left together that night, I wound up carrying the box containing all the crap from her desk.

"Liv, you're coming back tomorrow." She just shrugged her shoulders and gave everyone hugs. Then we finally left.

Casey texted her as soon as we walked in the door and they went off shopping. She promised me she would be back by 7:30 though. I had just sat down with a beer when my phone rang,.

"Stabler."

"Daddy guess what!" Kathleen called, sounding happier then she had been in a while.

"What?"

"Mom finally broke up with that jerk!"

"She did? Wow, that's great! I happy that you guys wont be having any more problems. Are you guys still coming trick or treating with me and Livy?"

"Yup! She said so. I gotta go, I have homework. I just wanted to call and tell you about mom. Bye dad."

"Bye Kathleen. Love you." I sat back into the couch and sighed, thank god that mess was over.

I was almost asleep when Olivia came in, carrying a Macy's bag and Forever 21 bag.

"Forever 21?"

"Casey said they have great shoes, she was right." She gave me a sheepish smile and sat next to me on the couch. I chuckled lightly.

"How did Ms. Novak take your…news?"

"She almost started crying." Liv sighed and I hugged her close to me.

I was about 5 seconds a way from calling Casey a drama queen. Then I realized, she just cared. A lot. I knew that her and Liv where so close, they were almost sisters. So I guess this would have some effect on her too.

"Kathy dumped her boyfriend. I guess she realized how she was ruining her relationship with the kids."

"Oh, that's good I guess. But now, we need to talk about earlier." I sighed, here it came…

"I know, I know. And I'm sure you already know this, but I'm sorry," I held her by her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "I…I guess I was shocked that bad ass Benson quit." She gave a small smile.

"And I was shocked about how you acted like a complete ass."

"I was too. Liv, I felt like such a asshole for saying what I did."

"Oh I could tell. I was kinda glad, your complete disregard for my feelings hurt." I sighed, having her remind me of how insensitive I was made me feel bad all over again. Which was probably her intention.

"I'm sorry. God, just having you remind me of what a ass I was, makes me feel like one all over again."

"Good, because now you wont ever do that again." She leaned in close to me and pressed her head against mine.

I lightly pressed my lips to hers but she pressed back harder and our arms moved around each other. She pressed her mouth against mine with passion and I opened mine in return. She tasted like cheesecake ice cream , so I knew her and Casey had gone to Cold Stone for ice cream. The kiss deepened and I was practically laying on top of her, our mouths still filled with passion. After a little bit more of kissing, I pulled back and sat up. Knowing what I was getting at, she stood up and our mouths met again.

We somewhat successfully made it to the bedroom door, stumbling a little bit, the entire time our mouths still connected. I had pressed her up against the wall and kicked open the door. She pulled back and our foreheads where pressed together.

"Liv," I softly groaned.

"Mmmm," She moaned a little and a grin started to spread across her face. I was confused because this grin meant trouble.

She got out of my soft grip on her arms and stood with her hands on her hips.

"I think I'm gona make some soup. Want any?" She asked, trying to sound innocent. Her trouble grin still was spread across her face. I sighed, this was payback. I moved a little closer to her.

"Soup? Right now?"

"Yeah, we have a can of chicken and rice up in the cabinet."

"Didn't you eat dinner?"

"Nope."

"And you're sure you cant have your soup later?"

"Positive!" She called as she made her way into the kitchen. Of course she was going to do this.

I followed her into the kitchen, watching her dart back in forth, making her stupid soup.

"Stop checking out my ass Stabler."

"I'm not, but now that you mention it, why not?" She looked back at me and rolled her eyes.

"Sure you weren't, but I'm used to you doing it."

"What do you mean 'used to it'?"

"Like I didn't notice you turn around and watch me walk to Cragen's office, the elevator or anywhere else. I knew what you where doing."

"You have no idea what your talking about," I blushed. I never thought she knew. "I think it's the other way around though." This time it was her turn to blush.

"I don't think so."

"Then why are you blushing?" The once rosy red grew darker.

"Why where you?" She shot back and I could tell she was grinning.

"I wasn't."

"I saw you out of the corner of my eyes."

"Bullshit." I rolled my eyes and she turned around to face me, her hands on her hips. She made a small pout face at me.

"Not true, you did."

"Did not."

"If you didn't, then why are you so defensive about it?" I didn't say anything, she was right. "Yeah, that's what I thought." She smirked, sitting down next to me to eat her dinner.

"Just eat." I rolled my eyes and she smiled.

She sat there and ate so freakin slow. Like two bites per minute. I sighed.

"What?" She asked innocently, like she didn't know what she was doing.

"Do you really have to eat so slow?"

"I'm not eating slow, I'm almost done." To my surprise, she was right. "And besides, who says that we're going to continue from earlier?"

"Why cant we?"

"Why should we?" I sighed and I could tell she was clearly enjoying this. She got up and rinsed out her bowl.

"You don't want to?"

"I never said that."

"Then lets continue."

"Maybe." She shot me a wicked grin and sat down across from me.

We attempted to make small talk. I tried, I really did. I just couldn't get over how beautiful she looked. She stood up, walked over to me and stood in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought you wanted to continue." She flashed me a sexy smile and I stood up and held her in my arms.

"Yes please." I whispered into her hair before pressing my lips against hers.

We successfully were able to make it to the bedroom, (we had been doing a lot better and had managed to go a week without falling.) the entire time our mouths merging together. She tasted like chicken and rice soup and I missed the ice cream, but on her it was the sexiest thing ever. We stood in front of the bed as I slid off her gray sweater.

"I think this is the longest we've made it to the bedroom kissing the entire time, without falling." I observed as she kicked off her jeans.

"Practice makes perfect." She grinned, pulling off my shirt and tracing her hands over my chest. I picked her up and set her gently on the bed. I lightly layed on top.

"Then let's keep practicing." I said kissing her neck.

"Works for me." She winked.

**Ooo sexy time! Lol, i decided not to write a scene for that. Please, please, PLEASE review considering this is the last chapter! I decided to end the story because I couldnt figure out where to go with it anymore, but I have a new idea in mind and am already working on it.**

**Review, review, REVIEW! **

**-JustAGirlIGuess :)**


	14. 5 years later

**So, this is it. This is the end of my story (which in my personal opinion sucked). I would LOVE to thank my reviewers, and I will. So VERY much love to you if you reviewed, I would give you a shout out but then it requires effort...too much effort for 2:05 in the morning. More stories are coming, I swear. So make sure that if you reviewed here, you do it again. :). Enjoy! **

_5 years later._

"Paige! Ice cream's ready!" Olivia Stabler called to her daughter (the result of much planning and practice) who had busied herself on the couch, on big photo album in her 5 year old lap.

"Coming mommy!" The little girl shouted as she pushed the album of to the side.

Her wavy, light, brown locks flowed just past her shoulder as she ran into the kitchen. Her eye's were the piercing Stabler blue she shared with her half siblings and dad. They widened seeing the bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and cherries sitting on the table. Her mother sat next to her, organizing papers and putting them in folders. Next to her was her father, engrossed in a mountain of paper work.

"What are you doing mommy?"

"Sorting schedules for the students next year." Olivia answered, putting a paper clipped stack of papers into one of the manila folders. After leaving SVU, she became a consular at a middle school. As frustrating as it could get, she still had victims to help. Not victims of rape, but of bullying and rumors. Sometimes, she's get the occasional child with home problems and if needed to, she informed Elliot.

He was still at SVU, and so were her friends. His new partner was a good guy, but Elliot said he was no Olivia, and never would be. No one would.

"Does that mean it's almost time for school again?"

"Yup."

"Am I going to school? Will I have Ms. Madsen as my teacher?" Paige asked eagerly. Ms. Madsen was a 8th grade teacher Olivia had become friends with. Both adults chuckled.

"Yes, you will start school. You'll go to kindergarten. No, Ms. Madsen wont be your teacher. We work at a middle school, and there's no kindergarten there."

"Oh. But I'll have her when I'm older so it's okay." Paige said, shrugging her shoulders. Her parents laughed lightly but once again focused on work.

After finishing her ice cream and putting her bowl in the sink, Paige resumed looking at the photo album. She was at mommy and daddy's wedding. Olivia and Elliot stood next to each other, smiling. Olivia wore a sleeveless, long, white dress. The top was beaded with clear and silver beads and a satin bow tied in the back separated barely shimmering bottom. Her hair was swept up in a bun except for a curly ringlet that hung on the left side of her face. A veil was held in place by a sparkling crown which Olivia had given to her daughter to dress up in, although it was a little big.

Elliot looked handsome in his tux and pale yellow tie. Fin served as his best man, Munch and Dickie his groomsmen. Cragen had given Olivia away but stood next to Elliot for the picture. Casey stood next to Olivia in a long, flowing pale yellow dress as her bridesmaid. Maureen, Kathleen and Lizzie were her maids of honor, in dresses matching Casey's. All four ladies hair was curled and pinned back. They stood in the church, faces bright and smiling as the sun was slowly setting, but still shone through the stained glass behind them.

The wedding pictures took up 3 and a half pages. After that was a smiling Olivia holding a positive pregnancy test, a picture of Elliot and Olivia (who's stomach was starting to show evidence of a baby) on their anniversary, a very pregnant Olivia and smiling Casey at Liv's baby shower and various pictures all containing a pregnant Olivia.

The rest was filled with pictures of Paige as a toddler and baby and holidays. But Paige's favorite was the last one. It was taken last Christmas. Everyone had come over to the Stabler-Benson house for presents, playing in the snow, gingerbread houses and dinner. Everyone being Elliot's kids, Casey, Cragen, Warner, Munch and Fin.

Her fingers gently traced over the picture. Mommy was sitting on a chair, Paige in her lap. Daddy behind her, his hand resting on mommy's shoulder and grandpa Don was next to him. Aunt Casey stood next to Mommy and aunt Melinda next to her. On the other side of mommy was uncle Fin and uncle Munch. Reena , Kathleen, Lizzie and Dickie sat on the floor, all surrounding the chair. A snowy scene filled the window behind them and a tall Christmas tree stood in the back. Paige had her own copy in a picture frame in her room, and it sat on her nightstand showing off all the people she loved and cared about who equally loved and cared about her.

Back in the kitchen, both adults sighed.

"God, I'm only done with the 6th graders. There's still two other grades to go through. I have to sort them by core and the alphabetized them." Liv complained.

"I thought the secretary's daughter alphabetized them."

"By boy and girl." Olivia rolled her eyes. "She was too busy on that damn phone to pay attention. I guess I shouldn't have asked her to help. What about you?"

"Paperwork, a lot of it. From 2 different cases."

"Why are you behind?"

"I didn't get to finish the first one because right when I was about to start we got a new case." Elliot sighed, "I've been busy with work and you've been busy with back to school stuff. We need a vacation. Let's go somewhere this weekend."

"Like where?"

"Well the other day you said you wanted to see the mountains. Colorado?"

"What about Paige?" Olivia asked. Elliot walked to the living room and stood in the doorway.

"Paige, do you wana go stay with aunt Casey this weekend?"

"Yeah!" She cried, smiling. He turned back towards his wife, "she's taken care of." Olivia laughed.

"Alright Stabler, take me on a vacation."

Using some of his vacation time, Elliot took off Friday through Monday. They were flew to Colorado early Friday morning and stayed in Colorado Springs. Their hotel, the Broadmore, was right by the zoo and a water fall. Seven Falls would light up at 7:00 (they had put lights in so it looked like a rainbow was flowing out of a mountain.) so their first night was spent watching that. They hiked Pike's Peak, did a tour of Cave of the Winds and explored Garden of the Gods. They spent their last day in downtown Denver.

Finally, they had a chance to escape it all.

**I choose Colorado because thats where I am located. :D But not Colorado Springs, but I've been there a lot (and stayed at the Broadmore.) Its expensive and a rich person place so I was lucky to stay there I guess. The bell hop let me ride on the luggage cart. He heard me talking about it and he was all "do you wana ride?" So I was all "hell ya! letz go bitchez!" (in my head cause I was like 9 at the time and would've got smacked.) I'll shut up now so you can leave me a nice review (please!), hope you enjoyed. :)**

**-JustAGirlIGuess**


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